A Rainbow Syrup In My Heart That I Bleed
So, I had come out to everyone in my family except my little ten-year-old sister. I had been dropping hints to her so that it wouldn’t be a shock when I finally told her. And today, I finally told her.
Here’s how it happened.
My little sister, Rebecca, had just got this new iHome that changes colors in time with the music. She was showing it off to me and we were having fun. She happens to love Lady Gaga, so we were listening to Lady Gaga songs from her iPod. We played the song “Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)” and got to the lines “a rainbow syrup in her heart that she bleeds.”
I began asking her if she understood what that line might possibly mean. She had no clue, so I told her how people usually say that they bleed their college colors. Of course, there’s no college of the color rainbow, so she was a bit confused. I explained to her that rainbows and unicorns are generally considered to be “gay things.” It was obvious that she was confused why that was in the song then.
So, I explained to her how Lady Gaga fights and stands up for gay rights. Becca asked me why she did that, and I said, “Because it’s something she believes in and she wants to stand up for all of her gay fans.” She replied with, “Oh,” and then started mumbling something about wanting to tell me something but having a hard time getting to say it.
I knew that she was wondering if I was gay. So, I began to comfort her softly spoke to her, “You can tell me, I’m your brother.” She was still very uncomfortable. I began asking her if it had anything to do with what Lady Gaga stands for and me. She said it did.
I asked her if she was wondering if I was gay. She replied with a “yes” and dug her head in her zebra stripe pillow. Without needed to hesitate at all, I told her that I was indeed gay. She looked at me, dramatically leaned her head back, and then collapsed into her pillow again.
She then had a very confused look on her face and asked, “Why do my sheets smell like Sharpies?” We then began smelling her sheets and trying to think of reasons why her zebra stripe bed sheets might smell like permanent marker.
After a while, she looked at me and said, “So, Mom had told me.”
“Told you what?”
“That you might be gay. I was really confused when you kept saying that you don’t want a girlfriend but you want to get married. I asked her about it and she said that you might be gay. Are you upset that she told me?”
“No, I’m not upset, but I wanted to be the first to tell you.”
“Oh, okay.”
And then we started talking about how she feels like she understands dogs really well.
Needless to say, it was a very positive experience and she giggled when I said, “Toodles!” when I left her room.
Now, on another note, I am a bit disappointed. My parents are supportive of me and all, but they aren’t well educated, at all. My dad keeps making comments about girls and implying the possibility of me liking them, and my mom is quite confused with the idea of bisexuality and doesn’t understand how much it means for an LGBT person to come out to someone. Such as, she compared me coming out to my grandparents with the recent death of my great-grandfather and she basically told my little sister I was gay when I told my mom that I want to be able to tell her myself and stop hiding it from her.
So, I think I need to sit down with my parents and explain some things to them so that they can be more educated, especially since they are the parents of a gay son. But I’m still very happy how well my little sister handled it and how she doesn’t seem to think of me any differently.
All and all, today has been a very good day so far, and I’ve only been up for a few hours! :D
