Thanks to monetary gifts from work and family and a crazy sale at Teavana, I spent $19 on almost $300 worth of tea.

I bought…

• 8.40 oz of Gyokuro Imperial Green Tea
• 8.30 oz of Silver Yin Zhen Pearls White Tea
• 7.70 oz of Black Dragon Pearls Black Tea
• 7.50 oz of Wild Orange Blossom Herbal Tea
• 3.00 oz of Jasmine Oolong Tea

Oh, and 3 new tins.

I am SET FOR LIFE, well, not “for life,” but lets be honest: this is a LOT of tea.

I finally bought “Like Drawing Blood” on iTunes and I’M JUST SO HAPPY.  I also didn’t know how seductively I could move until I began dancing listening to “The Only Way.”  I swear, that’s not a normal side of me.

Sometimes you know when you’re the third wheel, but this is one of those times where it’s oddly bittersweet.

Currently wearing my third outfit of the day.

My Theory III project.

We had to create an arrangement of a folk song and sync the computer generated audio to a recording of the same folk song.  Well…just take a listen to mine.

samelnicomposer:

So, I had come out to everyone in my family except my little ten-year-old sister.  I had been dropping hints to her so that it wouldn’t be a shock when I finally told her.  And today, I finally told her.

Here’s how it happened.

My little sister, Rebecca, had just got this new iHome that changes colors in time with the music.  She was showing it off to me and we were having fun.  She happens to love Lady Gaga, so we were listening to Lady Gaga songs from her iPod.  We played the song “Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)” and got to the lines “a rainbow syrup in her heart that she bleeds.”

I began asking her if she understood what that line might possibly mean.  She had no clue, so I told her how people usually say that they bleed their college colors.  Of course, there’s no college of the color rainbow, so she was a bit confused.  I explained to her that rainbows and unicorns are generally considered to be “gay things.”  It was obvious that she was confused why that was in the song then.

So, I explained to her how Lady Gaga fights and stands up for gay rights.  Becca asked me why she did that, and I said, “Because it’s something she believes in and she wants to stand up for all of her gay fans.”  She replied with, “Oh,” and then started mumbling something about wanting to tell me something but having a hard time getting to say it.

I knew that she was wondering if I was gay.  So, I began to comfort her softly spoke to her, “You can tell me, I’m your brother.”  She was still very uncomfortable.  I began asking her if it had anything to do with what Lady Gaga stands for and me.  She said it did.  

I asked her if she was wondering if I was gay.  She replied with a “yes” and dug her head in her zebra stripe pillow.  Without needed to hesitate at all, I told her that I was indeed gay.  She looked at me, dramatically leaned her head back, and then collapsed into her pillow again.

She then had a very confused look on her face and asked, “Why do my sheets smell like Sharpies?”  We then began smelling her sheets and trying to think of reasons why her zebra stripe bed sheets might smell like permanent marker.

After a while, she looked at me and said, “So, Mom had told me.”

“Told you what?”

“That you might be gay.  I was really confused when you kept saying that you don’t want a girlfriend but you want to get married.  I asked her about it and she said that you might be gay.  Are you upset that she told me?”

“No, I’m not upset, but I wanted to be the first to tell you.”

“Oh, okay.”

And then we started talking about how she feels like she understands dogs really well.

Needless to say, it was a very positive experience and she giggled when I said, “Toodles!” when I left her room.

Now, on another note, I am a bit disappointed.  My parents are supportive of me and all, but they aren’t well educated, at all.  My dad keeps making comments about girls and implying the possibility of me liking them, and my mom is quite confused with the idea of bisexuality and doesn’t understand how much it means for an LGBT person to come out to someone.  Such as, she compared me coming out to my grandparents with the recent death of my great-grandfather and she basically told my little sister I was gay when I told my mom that I want to be able to tell her myself and stop hiding it from her.

So, I think I need to sit down with my parents and explain some things to them so that they can be more educated, especially since they are the parents of a gay son.  But I’m still very happy how well my little sister handled it and how she doesn’t seem to think of me any differently.

All and all, today has been a very good day so far, and I’ve only been up for a few hours!  :D

Ah yes!  I found it!  Here’s a story which has a lot more behind it than this post says.  If you’d like to know more about what was going on, feel free to ask me.

samelnicomposer:

So today I realized that I still had something in my drafts.  I took a look at it, and I smiled.  So, I’m gonna share what I found with you and make some commentary about it.

What’s probably the toughest thing about being a LGBT teen is coming out of the closet. There is always that fear of rejection and negative reactions that we might get from people when we come out to them. Luckily for me, the first person I told was there with more than wide open arms. It was really hard for me, but worth it in the end.

Here’s how it happened.

During the summer of 2010, I worked for a summer camp in Austin, Texas. I was unable to provide transportation every day, so my friend Molly gave me rides to and from home and camp.

Before camp had started I had already figured out that I was bisexual and that these car rides were the perfect time for me to come out to a really close friend of mine. I figured that on the way home, I would just tell her before I got out of the car. It seemed like it would be an easy process, but it wasn’t.

Every day on the way back from camp, I would think about telling her. But every time I thought, “I’m going to tell her now,” or “In just another moment,” I would get massive butterflies in my stomach. I became completely silent and would say a word unless Molly talked to me. Not only that, but some days after working at camp had us completely exhausted and put us in moods that were not so good, so to say, which made the situation even more uncomfortable for me.

On the last week of camp, Molly told me that the last day she could drive me back home was the coming Wednesday. I realized that if I wanted to come out to her, I only had a few days left before I would have to make other plans to tell her. But that Monday and Tuesday, I still couldn’t do it. I just sat in the passenger seat listening to whatever happened to be on the radio in silence.

Finally, it was Wednesday, and it was a great day at camp. We both left in fantastic moods, and the radio was playing our favorite songs. And for once I wasn’t silent the entire ride, singing along to Lady Gaga and whatever else was on (even though I didn’t really know all the words). And then, we entered my neighborhood.

That’s when I realized that time was just about up, and those butterflies came back again. I was full of anxiety, that mix of nervousness and excitement that gets us all jumpy and bubbly inside. And as we turned every street corner, it got worse and worse like a volcano that couldn’t erupt.

And then we got to the drive way.

Molly parked her car and turned to me. She said something among the line of, “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Knowing this was my last chance to tell her like I hoped to, I told her, “There’s something I need to tell you.” She was messing with some of the controls on her car. “Okay, I’m listening,” she said, or something like that. My nerves were only getting worse, so I decided to bite the bullet and tell her.

“Molly, I’m bisexual.”

She turned to me with wide eyes and a look of, “Oh my gosh, really?” on her face. She then took a breath and said, “Sam, don’t take any offence to this, but I was hoping you would be gay. That way, I could talk about my gay best friend!”

We both started laughing after that. She thought it was great that I had figured it out and was touched when I told her that she was the first person I came out to. We said our goodbyes and I went inside.

I have to say, that was one of the best moments of my life. 

And little did we know, there was more to be said months later.  This was back in, I believe July 2010.  Well, I went through another similar story in February.

In Februaruy of 2011, I had realized that I was not bisexual.  Nope.  I was indeed, gay.  Thus, I knew that I was gonna have to take that other foot out of the closet.  I honestly thought to myself, where do I start?  And I didn’t think twice and said, “Molly!”

So usually the training sessions for the summer camp I used to work at are on the first Saturday of each month.  For whatever reason it was, the March session was scheduled a week early, the last Saturday in February.

And basically, the same thing happened.  She gave me a ride, we were singing and talking in the car.  I was though, still pretty silent for the most part.  One song that came up in the radio was P!NK’s “F*****n’ Perfect.”  I had never heard the song before, I was about to cry after hearing the first chorus.  I held back the tears, and kept going.

And just like before, we got to my driveway and Molly was ready to say goodbye and drop me off.  I, of course, didn’t go quite yet and something along the following lines were said.

 ”Molly, I have something to say…..Remember how you said you wanted a gay best friend?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you have one.” 

She just looked and me, smiled, and hugged me.  She said something along the lines of, “Sam, you always do this to me, you know that?”  We laughed and smiled, and I did say goodbye until next time.

And now, here I am, out and proud!  I can’t help but thank Molly for her awesome and amazing support.  She’s absolutely incredible!

You should go check out her blog, by the way. —> http://missmollytaylormnp.tumblr.com/

So if you only take one thing from this long story here, let it be this.  Always be there for your friends.  You never know when a close friend of yours will need you, and having a friend to go to is so crucial in personal sanity.  Your good friend might just need advice in  picking clothes for a date, or the might be an LGBT teen like me and need you for the most important first step in their life.

It’s really awesome when you get to meet a friend from Tumblr and hang out with them for the first time almost all day along with your other friends.

And now that I’ve had tea, I’m sleeeeepy.  Great day was great, and I can’t believe I did this much on just four and a half hours of sleep.

G’night y’all!

WHOA, I actually finished my music theory essay with ease after the first half was torture.  GO ME, HOWEVER I DID THAT.