Ah yes! I found it! Here’s a story which has a lot more behind it than this post says. If you’d like to know more about what was going on, feel free to ask me.
So today I realized that I still had something in my drafts. I took a look at it, and I smiled. So, I’m gonna share what I found with you and make some commentary about it.
What’s probably the toughest thing about being a LGBT teen is coming out of the closet. There is always that fear of rejection and negative reactions that we might get from people when we come out to them. Luckily for me, the first person I told was there with more than wide open arms. It was really hard for me, but worth it in the end.
Here’s how it happened.
During the summer of 2010, I worked for a summer camp in Austin, Texas. I was unable to provide transportation every day, so my friend Molly gave me rides to and from home and camp.
Before camp had started I had already figured out that I was bisexual and that these car rides were the perfect time for me to come out to a really close friend of mine. I figured that on the way home, I would just tell her before I got out of the car. It seemed like it would be an easy process, but it wasn’t.
Every day on the way back from camp, I would think about telling her. But every time I thought, “I’m going to tell her now,” or “In just another moment,” I would get massive butterflies in my stomach. I became completely silent and would say a word unless Molly talked to me. Not only that, but some days after working at camp had us completely exhausted and put us in moods that were not so good, so to say, which made the situation even more uncomfortable for me.
On the last week of camp, Molly told me that the last day she could drive me back home was the coming Wednesday. I realized that if I wanted to come out to her, I only had a few days left before I would have to make other plans to tell her. But that Monday and Tuesday, I still couldn’t do it. I just sat in the passenger seat listening to whatever happened to be on the radio in silence.
Finally, it was Wednesday, and it was a great day at camp. We both left in fantastic moods, and the radio was playing our favorite songs. And for once I wasn’t silent the entire ride, singing along to Lady Gaga and whatever else was on (even though I didn’t really know all the words). And then, we entered my neighborhood.
That’s when I realized that time was just about up, and those butterflies came back again. I was full of anxiety, that mix of nervousness and excitement that gets us all jumpy and bubbly inside. And as we turned every street corner, it got worse and worse like a volcano that couldn’t erupt.
And then we got to the drive way.
Molly parked her car and turned to me. She said something among the line of, “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Knowing this was my last chance to tell her like I hoped to, I told her, “There’s something I need to tell you.” She was messing with some of the controls on her car. “Okay, I’m listening,” she said, or something like that. My nerves were only getting worse, so I decided to bite the bullet and tell her.
“Molly, I’m bisexual.”
She turned to me with wide eyes and a look of, “Oh my gosh, really?” on her face. She then took a breath and said, “Sam, don’t take any offence to this, but I was hoping you would be gay. That way, I could talk about my gay best friend!”
We both started laughing after that. She thought it was great that I had figured it out and was touched when I told her that she was the first person I came out to. We said our goodbyes and I went inside.
I have to say, that was one of the best moments of my life.
And little did we know, there was more to be said months later. This was back in, I believe July 2010. Well, I went through another similar story in February.
In Februaruy of 2011, I had realized that I was not bisexual. Nope. I was indeed, gay. Thus, I knew that I was gonna have to take that other foot out of the closet. I honestly thought to myself, where do I start? And I didn’t think twice and said, “Molly!”
So usually the training sessions for the summer camp I used to work at are on the first Saturday of each month. For whatever reason it was, the March session was scheduled a week early, the last Saturday in February.
And basically, the same thing happened. She gave me a ride, we were singing and talking in the car. I was though, still pretty silent for the most part. One song that came up in the radio was P!NK’s “F*****n’ Perfect.” I had never heard the song before, I was about to cry after hearing the first chorus. I held back the tears, and kept going.
And just like before, we got to my driveway and Molly was ready to say goodbye and drop me off. I, of course, didn’t go quite yet and something along the following lines were said.
”Molly, I have something to say…..Remember how you said you wanted a gay best friend?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you have one.”
She just looked and me, smiled, and hugged me. She said something along the lines of, “Sam, you always do this to me, you know that?” We laughed and smiled, and I did say goodbye until next time.
And now, here I am, out and proud! I can’t help but thank Molly for her awesome and amazing support. She’s absolutely incredible!
You should go check out her blog, by the way. —> http://missmollytaylormnp.tumblr.com/
So if you only take one thing from this long story here, let it be this. Always be there for your friends. You never know when a close friend of yours will need you, and having a friend to go to is so crucial in personal sanity. Your good friend might just need advice in picking clothes for a date, or the might be an LGBT teen like me and need you for the most important first step in their life.
